TOP 100 SOCCER SITES
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| Premier League Christmas quiz Test your Premier League knowledge with our weekly football quiz. telegraph.co.uk |
Victory undeterred by setback Melbourne Victory coach Ernie Merrick has promised his team will bounce back from their shock loss to North Queensland and return to the top of the table. foxsports.com.au |
Worst experience of my life: Adebayor Emmanuel Adebayor has described the moment of terror as he cowered with his Togo teammates while terrorists raked their bus with bullets. foxsports.com.au |
Xerez's Ziganda latest coaching casualty in Spain Xerez has fired coach Jose Angel Ziganda, with the club at the bottom of the Spanish league standings. cbc.ca |
ESPN seeking fans of the blarney The American channel waited for a Premier League-free weekend to foist Tommy Smyth on a UK audience. Bad moveESPN gave away its output for free at the weekend, which seemed rather odd timing, given that this was one weekend when most of the action was taking place elsewhere – Australian Open tennis on BBC2 and Eurosport, the FA Cup on ITV. I mean, some of you may have chosen to watch Borussia Dortmund play Hamburg in the Bundesliga on Saturday evening, rather than Spurs v Leeds, but there was little evidence of that round my manor.On which topic, I took a London-bound train out of Leeds on Saturday – that is, I caught one, I was not driving it – and noticed that no alcohol was being served. Presumably this was an attempt to prevent Leeds fans becoming too vigorously refreshed before kick-off at White Hart Lane, in the quaint belief that, given the opportunity, Yorkshiremen would choose to get tanked up on tins of lukewarm lager at £2.75 a pop. (In fairness, it is sometimes possible to get a cold one from the buffet bar, but the trolley is more or less a refrigeration-free zone. Strangely, though, while the beer is never really cold, the hot water is never quite hot enough to make a decent cup of tea. I reckon they are aiming for temperature parity.)But what of ESPN, I hear you ask? In a moment, but before leaving the buffet I feel obliged to pass on a very old joke which one or two younger readers may not have heard before: a passenger gets a cappuccino, a cheese and tomato sandwich, a packet of crisps and a Kit Kat and hands over payment, saying: "I'm sorry, I've only got a twenty-pound note." The buffet car steward replies: "Well, you'd better put the Kit Kat back then."Meanwhile, on ESPN's absolutely free weekend, the highlight was the Milan derby, which was being billed somewhat disingenuously as Mourinho v Beckham. In what sense this was a head-to-head was never adequately explained. There was also some Scottish football and a match from Argentina early this morning. Maybe the free weekend was just an opportunity for British viewers to acquaint themselves with the cult of Tommy Smyth.When it was first announced that the America-based channel was to take over Setanta's Premier League contract, I received a number of emails from readers in the States which mentioned Smyth in less than complimentary terms. His brand of total bollocks – sorry, but that really is the only word for it – cheerily delivered has been a feature of soccer coverage over there for some years, driving to distraction ex-pats who take their football seriously.Cannily, ESPN hauled Ray Stubbs and the fine commentary team of Jon Champion and Joe Royle out of the wreckage of Setanta for British viewers, restricting Smyth to Press Pass, which is half an hour of what David Mellor, of blessed memory, used to call "red-hot soccer chat". This week's show kicked off with Carlos Tevez's comments about Gary Neville on ESPN's Argentinian radio station. The presenter, Adrian Healey, pointed out that the literal translation of Tevez's broadside was "sock-sucker", not "boot-licker", with Smyth adding an important qualification: "A bootlegger is one thing, a boot-licker is another."Physically, Smyth is part Stevo from Sky's Super League coverage, part Peter Glaze, the late children's TV performer (find him on YouTube, kiddies). On his entrances and exits Smyth, who always wears a suit at least one size too small, gives a little vaudeville salute, just in case you were in danger of taking him seriously. He did play a little football in Scotland 50 years ago, but these days he is something of a stage Irishman, with the blarney level turned right up, talking about "the auld onion bag" and so on. He provides the kind of coverage that might appeal to an American audience that sees soccer as a rather comical pastime, taking Mexicans' minds off the terrible food and stopping Europeans declaring war on each other.Smyth was teamed with Frank Leboeuf, one of whose functions was to furrow his brow as Tommy picked his top 25 teams, a ridiculous weekly feature in which he names the best-performing 25 teams in the world. Leboeuf questioned Monterey's appearance in the chart, and why Chelsea were below Internazionale. I can answer that: it is nonsense.I cannot help feeling ESPN would have been better off giving away a Premier League fixture or two if it wished to corral new subscribers.Away from ESPN, the FA Cup is well and truly off the life support system, and it has provided ITV with some fine action, notably Leeds's late, great escape at Tottenham. Chelsea's win at Preston was more predictable, but it did give me an opportunity to check on the latest trend in post-match interviews, as spotted by a keen Screen Break reader, Nigel Wilson.Nigel sent me an email identifying the modern footballer's tendency to prefix answers with "Yeah, no … " and pointing out that West Ham's James Tomkins managed a "Yeah, no, yeah … " after last week's match at Villa Park. Sure enough John Terry, asked after the Preston game if Chelsea were "beginning to get that Cup final feeling", showed himself not about to be outdone by any upstart young defender. He responded, "Yeah, no, of course … "FA CupESPNMartin Kelnerguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |