| The art of creating a dressing-room stink Football dressing rooms have been sabotaged in some pretty vile ways over the years thanks to some serious practical jokersThe burst sewage pipe in the away dressing room at the Stadium of Light was the cause of some merriment for the man from the newsagent's. "They said the whole place was filled with liquid excrement," he said. "And we weren't even playing the Boro."He let out a noise that sounded like an asthmatic hyena playing the kazoo and added: "I said: 'And we weren't even playing the Boro,'" in case the only Middlesbrough fan in the shop (me) missed it the first time. And then he said: "Are you not wanting a Kit Kat today?"You might think this an example of customer care straight from the Tom Hicks Jr Manual, but we have to make allowances for the man in the newsagent's. A lifetime as a Sunderland fan in a Newcastle-supporting area has left him all bitter and twisted. As a Middlesbrough fan the same thing might have happened to me. Luckily, when I arrived here 20 years ago I was already so bitter and twisted from supporting the Boro for three decades that if anything the added sourness and torque have gentled my disposition.The start Steve Bruce's team have made to this Premier League season has at least got the bloke from the newsagent's off his twin favourite topics: Len Shackleton and Kevin Keegan, two footballers who represent the yin and yang of his life. As other men have had "love" and "hate" tattooed on their fists, so might he have had "Shack" and "Keegan" etched on his. Although, obviously to do so he'd have to have five fingers on one hand and six on the other, which as the barber pointed out is an unlikely configuration "even for someone who comes from Murton, like he does".I should say that, in my view, this is a slight on Murton, though I have visited the Durham village only once, admittedly. That was back in the days when they still had a team in the Northern League. My friends and I had got off the bus from Durham City and were struggling to locate a social club, the International. It was raining. The afternoon was so dark that even if the workers' flag were flying you wouldn't have been able to see it from a distance of more than six feet.The streets of Murton were deserted. The chip shop on the corner with the sign in the window proclaiming the availability of something called a "Dona Kebab" (whether a misspelling or an unfortunate fate for some poor woman, I cannot say) was shut.As we began to despair, and consider suicide, or a trip to Spennymoor, a bloke lurched into view from a side street. He was walking in the classic manner of the daytime drunk, with his feet planted far apart as if to brace himself against the swell of the pavement, a grin on his face proclaiming: "I'm blattered, but I'm getting away with it."We stopped him and asked the way. He gave us directions and as we walked off bawled after us: "The beer's piss, mind, lads." Kirstie Allsopp would doubtless get all prissy about the lack of dado rails, but I find it impossible not to warm to a place like that.Any road, the barber said that he had heard something about the sewage pipes in the Manchester United dressing room. Looking around as if suspecting an eavesdropper, he lowered his voice so that only the entire shop could hear, and said: "Cut deliberately. By person, or persons unknown." He raised his eyebrow: "So you know who that means, don't you?"It was plain from the way he told us this that the barber believes showering Rio Ferdinand with shit on purpose is somehow morally more repugnant than doing it by accident. Personally, I am not so sure. Because, to be honest, I still haven't forgiven the England centre-back for that World Cup prank programme.Still, it must be stated clearly that there is nothing whatsoever to suggest that anything the barber has said on the subject of the Stadium of Light burst sewage pipe (or indeed on "that business" with three Newcastle players involved – a tale for which the world is not yet ready. And won't be until all three are dead and therefore beyond the protection of our libel laws) is in anyway correct. Nothing except historical precedent, anyway.Because football dressing rooms have been sabotaged in some pretty vile ways over the years. Showers have been cold, salt has been supplied instead of sugar with the half-time tea and there have been accusations of rotten fish being placed in the heating ducts.Perhaps the weirdest example was that of the Alnwick Town chairman John Common, who made a habit of leaving a dead animal ("The smallest a mole, the largest a sheep" according to the official history of the Northern League) in the visitors' changing area. Mr Common claimed that this was done in a spirit of impish fun – a practical joke of Ferdinand-esque proportions."Pity it didn't happen when your lot were playing there, isn't it?" the barber said. "Being surrounded by evil-smelling filth – it would have made the Boro feel like they were at home, wouldn't it?"It's water off a duck's back, like I say.SunderlandMiddlesbroughNewcastle UnitedHarry Pearsonguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Buddle's header off Beckham's corner lifts Galaxy over Union Edson Buddle scored his MLS-leading 16th goal, converting a corner kick from David Beckham, and the Los Angeles Galaxy defeated the Philadelphia ... rssfeeds.usatoday.com |
World Cup bids face possible legal threat • Defeated bids could take action against 2018 and 2022 hosts• Russia mirror England by pulling out of 2022 to focus on 2018There are fears that the race to host the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, already mired in controversy after the suspension of officials over alleged bribery, could descend into a flurry of damaging litigation if it proceeds as planned. More than one bidding nation is believed to be considering the possibility of legal action against rivals if the result does not go their way, in view of the chaos that now surrounds the process.With the Nigerian executive committee member, Amos Adamu, and the Oceania representative, Reynald Tamarii, provisionally suspended by Fifa while its ethics committee investigates allegations that they effectively offered to sell their vote, it is also examining separate rumours that two bids offered to trade blocs of votes.One of the two bids understood to be under investigation by the committee, chaired by Claudio Sulser, has hit back at the allegations. The joint Spain and Portugal bid – aiming to secure the 2018 tournament in the face of competition from England, Russia and Belgium/Holland – is alleged to have colluded with Qatar to swap votes under their influence. The votes of up to seven executive committee members could be involved.While he did not confirm the two countries involved JĂ©rĂ´me Valcke, the Fifa secretary general, said this week: "We got the information a few weeks ago and there have been rumours saying that it definitely took place."The Qatar bid today declined to comment, but the leaders of the Iberian bid reacted furiously. Gilberto Madail, the president of the Portuguese federation, said: "We received with surprise and indignation the analysis that Fifa's ethics committee may conduct on a rumour ... circulated in September in the English media about an alleged deal between the Iberian and the Qatari bids for hosting the World Cup," said Gilberto Madail, the president of the Portuguese federation."It is odd that there is an attempt to launch completely unfounded suspicions about the Iberian bid at a time when there are news reports about alleged vote-selling for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups involving other bids."It is understood that Fifa has been in touch with both the Qatar and the Spain/Portugal bids to seek further information in the wake of the claims.With further revelations expected in this weekend's Sunday Times, the ethics committee has already watched 90 minutes of footage collected by the newspaper.Adamu also again protested his innocence yesterday, telling the BBC he was a "credible person"."I'm very, very confident because what was pushed to the public is not a true reflection of what really transpired between me and the journalists," said Adamu, who is banned from all football-related activities while the case is investigated and admitted he was not supposed to comment on it."I believe in the credibility of Fifa and the Fifa president, I know that my reputation is intact and the investigation will prove it." Temarii has also said he is innocent of the allegations.The ethics committee has promised to deliver its verdict on the pair by the middle of next month, but the vote is supposed to take place just two weeks later.Next week, the Fifa executive committee will proceed with plans to meet to finalise the voting procedure, despite it being unclear how many of its members will be present for the decision on December 2.Meanwhile, Russia yesterday confirmed it was pulling out of the race for the 2022 World Cup to concentrate on the 2018 tournament. England last week did the same.World Cup 2018FifaFootball politicsOwen Gibsonguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
West Bromwich Albion v Fulham: live Follow live, minute-by-minute commentary of the Premier League match between West Bromwich Albion and Fulham on Saturday Oct 23, 2010, kick-off 15:00 BST. telegraph.co.uk |
United Need Rooney Image Overhaul to Get Their Money Back MANCHESTER (Reuters) - Wayne Rooney's tarnished image will need a complete overhaul if Manchester United are to recoup his huge salary rise through commercial deals, sports marketing experts say. feeds.nytimes.com |