| Liverpool board set for legal action Liverpool board set to take legal action against the club's owners to force a takeover by the owners of Boston Red Sox. foxsports.com.au |
The art of creating a dressing-room stink Football dressing rooms have been sabotaged in some pretty vile ways over the years thanks to some serious practical jokersThe burst sewage pipe in the away dressing room at the Stadium of Light was the cause of some merriment for the man from the newsagent's. "They said the whole place was filled with liquid excrement," he said. "And we weren't even playing the Boro."He let out a noise that sounded like an asthmatic hyena playing the kazoo and added: "I said: 'And we weren't even playing the Boro,'" in case the only Middlesbrough fan in the shop (me) missed it the first time. And then he said: "Are you not wanting a Kit Kat today?"You might think this an example of customer care straight from the Tom Hicks Jr Manual, but we have to make allowances for the man in the newsagent's. A lifetime as a Sunderland fan in a Newcastle-supporting area has left him all bitter and twisted. As a Middlesbrough fan the same thing might have happened to me. Luckily, when I arrived here 20 years ago I was already so bitter and twisted from supporting the Boro for three decades that if anything the added sourness and torque have gentled my disposition.The start Steve Bruce's team have made to this Premier League season has at least got the bloke from the newsagent's off his twin favourite topics: Len Shackleton and Kevin Keegan, two footballers who represent the yin and yang of his life. As other men have had "love" and "hate" tattooed on their fists, so might he have had "Shack" and "Keegan" etched on his. Although, obviously to do so he'd have to have five fingers on one hand and six on the other, which as the barber pointed out is an unlikely configuration "even for someone who comes from Murton, like he does".I should say that, in my view, this is a slight on Murton, though I have visited the Durham village only once, admittedly. That was back in the days when they still had a team in the Northern League. My friends and I had got off the bus from Durham City and were struggling to locate a social club, the International. It was raining. The afternoon was so dark that even if the workers' flag were flying you wouldn't have been able to see it from a distance of more than six feet.The streets of Murton were deserted. The chip shop on the corner with the sign in the window proclaiming the availability of something called a "Dona Kebab" (whether a misspelling or an unfortunate fate for some poor woman, I cannot say) was shut.As we began to despair, and consider suicide, or a trip to Spennymoor, a bloke lurched into view from a side street. He was walking in the classic manner of the daytime drunk, with his feet planted far apart as if to brace himself against the swell of the pavement, a grin on his face proclaiming: "I'm blattered, but I'm getting away with it."We stopped him and asked the way. He gave us directions and as we walked off bawled after us: "The beer's piss, mind, lads." Kirstie Allsopp would doubtless get all prissy about the lack of dado rails, but I find it impossible not to warm to a place like that.Any road, the barber said that he had heard something about the sewage pipes in the Manchester United dressing room. Looking around as if suspecting an eavesdropper, he lowered his voice so that only the entire shop could hear, and said: "Cut deliberately. By person, or persons unknown." He raised his eyebrow: "So you know who that means, don't you?"It was plain from the way he told us this that the barber believes showering Rio Ferdinand with shit on purpose is somehow morally more repugnant than doing it by accident. Personally, I am not so sure. Because, to be honest, I still haven't forgiven the England centre-back for that World Cup prank programme.Still, it must be stated clearly that there is nothing whatsoever to suggest that anything the barber has said on the subject of the Stadium of Light burst sewage pipe (or indeed on "that business" with three Newcastle players involved – a tale for which the world is not yet ready. And won't be until all three are dead and therefore beyond the protection of our libel laws) is in anyway correct. Nothing except historical precedent, anyway.Because football dressing rooms have been sabotaged in some pretty vile ways over the years. Showers have been cold, salt has been supplied instead of sugar with the half-time tea and there have been accusations of rotten fish being placed in the heating ducts.Perhaps the weirdest example was that of the Alnwick Town chairman John Common, who made a habit of leaving a dead animal ("The smallest a mole, the largest a sheep" according to the official history of the Northern League) in the visitors' changing area. Mr Common claimed that this was done in a spirit of impish fun – a practical joke of Ferdinand-esque proportions."Pity it didn't happen when your lot were playing there, isn't it?" the barber said. "Being surrounded by evil-smelling filth – it would have made the Boro feel like they were at home, wouldn't it?"It's water off a duck's back, like I say.SunderlandMiddlesbroughNewcastle UnitedHarry Pearsonguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Europe briefs: Galatasaray tabs Hagi as coach, Afellay to leave PSV New Galatasaray coach Gheorghe Hagi has pledged to revive the team following its disappointing start to the season. The former Romania great ... rssfeeds.usatoday.com |
Liverpool v Blackburn Rovers Roy Hodgson believes he was unfairly dismissed after 17 months at Blackburn in the 1990s but he knows how intense the pressure will be should he fail to win his 17th game in charge of Liverpool. Thursday's goalless draw with Napoli brought much-needed respite for the Liverpool manager as his team were organised, cohesive and resilient on a night when he gambled by leaving four first-team regulars at home. Anyone recalled against Rovers - regardless of their stature - owes Hodgson a performance against a Blackburn side that has problems in defence but will be looking to capitalise on Liverpool's growing anxiety. Andy HunterVenue Anfield, Sunday 3pm Tickets £41 (0843 170 5555) Last season Liverpool 2 Blackburn 1 Referee P DowdThis season's matches 8 Y29, R2, 3.88 cards per gameOdds Liverpool 8-11 Blackburn 5-1 Draw 14-5LiverpoolSubs from Jones, RodrÃguez, Johnson, Agger, Lucas, Ngog, Aurélio, Kelly, Pacheco, Babel, Wilson, Spearing, ShelveyInjured Kuyt (ankle, Nov)Doubtful Johnson (hamstring), Agger (illness)Suspended NoneForm guide LLDLDWDisciplinary record Y11 R1Leading scorer Gerrard 3BlackburnSubs from Benjani, M B Diouf, Chimbonda, Dunn, Doran, Hoilett, Brown, Bunn, Morris, LinganziDoubtful Nelsen (thigh)Injured Andrews (groin, 6 Nov), Roberts (ankle, unknown), Grella (hamstring, unknown)Suspended NoneIneligible Goulon (international clearance)Form guide DLWDDLDisciplinary record Y13 R1Leading scorer Kalinic 2Match pointers• Liverpool have scored only one first-half goal in the Premier League this season – and none in the last 20 minutes• Rovers have won one of their 16 Premier League games at Anfield, when Mike Newell scored in a 1-0 victory in September 1993• Blackburn are one of two Premier League teams not to benefit from a goal from an Englishman this season, the other being Wigan• Liverpool have won one of their last 10 league games and conceded nine goals in their last four league outingsLiverpoolBlackburn Roversguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
West Bromwich Albion v Fulham: live Follow live, minute-by-minute commentary of the Premier League match between West Bromwich Albion and Fulham on Saturday Oct 23, 2010, kick-off 15:00 BST. telegraph.co.uk |