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| The Rumour Mill Transfer Window Hootenanny | Barry Glendenning Today's tell-all is feeling the benefits of a quiet night-in watching Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, then getting a depressingly early nightHello! Thank you! Magnificent! Happy new year! And a very big welcome to all our readers from around the world to the Rumour Mill January Transfer Window Hootenanny, which promises to be a wonderful star-studded musical celebration of the beginning of yet another mind-bendingly tedious 31-day orgy of baseless speculation that'll turn out to be flatter than that paper cup of cheap Prosecco you found sitting on your bedside table this morning. Then drank.Today's Rumours, the first of 2010, won't lie to you. Yet. We had an interesting journey to the show this morning, passing the time by trying to guess which of our fellow London Underground passengers were on their way home from a New Year's Eve spent roistering and which were going to work. The dishevelled looking young lady in the leather jacket, high heels and gold lamé miniskirt who bore a striking resemblance to The Joker because her incessant weeping was smudging her mascara and causing it to run down each cheek in thick black rivulets? Work. She was probably off to fit a kitchen somewhere in Hounslow and was depressed at having to work on a bank holiday. The similarly dressed young lady who'd thrown a consoling arm around a shoulder and kept saying: "Don't worry Jems, he's not worf it, innit?" Probably her assistant.The posh young man in the low-slung denim jeans and over-sized baseball cap who took three stops to roll a cigarette then had to ask his mate to lick the gum on the Rizla because he was so off his head he had no spit left? Work. The comparatively elderly gentleman who fixed the posh young man with a disapproving glare and growled "don't even think about it" when he inserted the roll-up between his parched lips and went rummaging in his jacket pocket for his cigarette lighter? Actually, that was us. Civic-minded to the last.Anyway, it's time for some music on this morning's January Transfer Window Hootenanny, so feel free to look at that picture of Florence Welch from Florence And The Machine, imagine her singing one of those trademark upbeat numbers in which she fantasises about burying an axe in her lover's head, then disposing of his body in a shallow grave prepared in a forest clearing by grave-diggers dressed as clowns.Now, some long-overdue transfer speculation. Manchester City will do little to appease detractors who consider their wad-waving approach to problem-solving to be vulgar by splashing out as much as it takes to bring the Barcelona striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic and the Internazionale defenders Ivan Cordoba and Maicon to Eastlands this month. Titter if you will – we don't make this guff up, we just help disseminate it after other people have.Alex McLeish is having similarly murderous thoughts to Florence after failing in his attempt to make the Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart as permanent a fixture at St Andrew's as the obligatory drunk comedian at one of Jools Holland's Hootenanny extravaganzas (this year the honour fell to Al Murray, who took up the baton passed on by Lenny Henry last year and lurched with it before falling over). The form English goalkeeper of the moment will remain on loan at Birmingham City but City have no plans to sell him.The Burnley manager Owen Coyle and the recently-departed Manchester City boss Mark Hughes have both ruled themselves out of the running for the vacant manager's position at Bolton Wanderers. Hull City's manager Phil Brown has too, as have today's Rumours, the actress who plays Bianca on EastEnders and Peaches Geldof. "It's flattering when people have such an opinion of you but my only focus is on the FA Cup tie at MK Dons on Saturday," said Peaches. Interestingly, not a single one of Crystal Palace manager Neil Warnock, former Charlton boss Alan Curbishley or Son of Ferg Darren Ferguson have ruled themselves out of the running to take over at the Reebok and all are rumoured to be on the Trotters' shortlist entitled "Folk What Might Get Us Out Of The Relegation Zone And Into Mid-Table Safety".On Wearside, the Sunderland manager Steve Bruce has logged on to eBay, typed the words "Alan Hutton" into the search engine and is ready to match the £4m reserve price on the Tottenham full-back that's up for auction. Once that's done, he'll set about securing the spidery scrawls of Wigan Athletic's Honduran defender Maynor Figueroa and Middlesbrough's Sunderland-born winger Adam Johnson.If the Liverpool manager Rafa BenÃtez doesn't want to take Atlético Madrid midfielder Maxi Rodriguez on loan, then the hat being worn by the next musical turn on the Rumour Mill January Transfer Window Hootenanny, Boy George, isn't green. It's well documented that BenÃtez will have to offload some of the expensive deadwood on his books before he can replace them with other expensive deadwood, so he's unlikely to be pleased with the news that Ryan Babel is expected to turn his nose up at the prospect of a move to Fiorentina. Once BenÃtez does get his hands on some lolly, the Daily Mail reckons he'll attempt to bring Ruud van Nistelrooy or Roman Pavlyuchenko to Anfield.That small, excitable and bespectacled man you can see attempting to swing a grappling hook over the wall of the Britannia Stadium is the Aston Villa manager Martin O'Neill, who is throwing the Stoke City Christmas party organiser James Beattie a lifeline. Stoke City's bean-counters have valued the striker at £2.5m, which they would put towards their Let's Sign Kenwyne Jones From Sunderland fund.Oh ... and before we forget, Chelsea will sign Valencia striker David Villa for £40m. Actually no, Chelsea will not sign David Villa for £40m. It's déjà vu all over again. Have a happy New Year from all at the Rumour Mill January Transfer Window Hootenanny.Transfer windowBarry Glendenningguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Burnley's Steven Caldwell resigned to losing Owen Coyle to Bolton Coyle has already expressed wish to move on and Bolton hope to have him in place against Sunderland on Saturday. telegraph.co.uk |
Pompey v Birmingham called off Barclays Premier League match between Portsmouth and Birmingham City has been postponed because the Fratton Park pitch is waterlogged. foxsports.com.au |
Tevez launches explosive attack on 'boot-licking moron' Neville • Manchester City striker lashes out on Argentinian radio• 'I wondered, what's the moron talking about me for?'Carlos Tevez has launched an incredible fresh attack on Gary Neville, accusing his former team-mate of being an "boot licking moron" following their confrontation during the Manchester derby on Tuesday night.The Manchester City striker described his side's 2-1 victory as "revenge" and insisted that his provocative goal celebration was directed only at Neville and not Alex Ferguson or the United fans, joking: "Ferguson loves me."Before the game, the United right-back had announced that Tevez was "not worth" the £25m it would have cost his club in the summer to keep him. Tevez was so incensed that he made a gesture towards Neville after scoring his first goal from the penalty spot, to which the England veteran responded by flashing his middle finger.Speaking in a radio interview on ESPN Argentina, Tevez said: "My celebration was directed at Gary Neville. He acted like a complete sock-sucker [boot-licker] when he said I wasn't worth £25m just to suck up to the manager. I don't know what the hell that idiot is talking about me for. I never said anything about him."I will never show a lack of respect towards anyone. Just as I was running off to celebrate the penalty I had scored, I came across Gary and I said to myself: "Shut your trap, keep quiet". I didn't go overboard in my celebration and it was directed at Gary, not at Ferguson and not at the fans."I think he did the wrong thing because I was his team-mate and I never said anything bad about him. He was saying that Ferguson was right when he said that I wasn't worth £25m, when he was saying this and that ... I always respected Neville."Despite playing in England for four years, the Argentinian still has difficulty speaking English. His comments yesterday to the British media accusing Neville of being "disrespectful" were released through his representatives and had a measure of calm.But speaking in his native tongue, Tevez made his feelings about Neville clear. "I was at lunch with the players in the team hotel and all the papers were laid out. I read them – well, 'read them', obviously I don't read [English]."My team-mates were telling me about it and asking what I thought. And I wondered to myself: what's the tarado [moron] talking about me for when I never said anything about him, when there was never any [issue] with us. It was a lack of respect for a compañero [fellow footballer], aside of the fact that we had won a lot of things together."You have to do your talking on the pitch. I don't talk much in England – mainly because of the language. I don't like to get involved in conflict. I'm happy because I know what I am. Thank God I had the chance to get revenge with City, although there is still the second leg to come," he added, concluding with a joke: "I know that Ferguson loves me, that's why he always talks about me, ha ha."There was a warning for United too, as Tevez said: "There are differences between the two teams. Manchester United is a huge team in the city, everyone knows that. But City are making giant strides."The Argentinian also admitted that, while he is enjoying his football at City, he does not expect to be there for the rest of his career and is struggling with life in England."Things are going well for me; the goals are coming. I'm in good shape, I have avoided injuries and that really helps," he said. "As a kid I would never have imagined that I would live in England for four years. I am very happy and contented that my daughter is growing up in a country as developed as this one. But the truth is that it's very, very hard for me to live here, so far away from my loved ones."This is my fourth year but I'm not exactly an example of how to learn English; I just can't get it into my head. I'm learning hardly anything, truth be told. I don't go out much, I spent most of my time at home."My daughter just brought me a Boca Juniors shirt and she wants me to join Boca. I am a Boca fan and I know I'll go back one day but I don't know when."Carlos TevezManchester UnitedManchester CityCarling CupSid Loweguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
Ronaldo scores twice in Real Madrid win: Spanish roundup Cristiano Ronaldo scored both Real Madrid's goals in a 2-0 win over Malaga on Sunday but was later red-carded for deliberately elbowing defender Patrick Jan Mtiliga in the face. cbc.ca |